O.K. Toby, you wanted to hear, good or bad! I went to my first proctologist today! I had mentioned the constipation issue. My gastroenterologist wouldn’t see me because of the cancer. So he sent me to the procto guy.
 
After we talked he said he needed to examine me. So, he left and the nurse came in. She asked me to kneel at the foot of the exam table. I asked her if I need to pray first or what. She said no. Lower your underwear and pants and please kneel. He came in and asked me to place my chest on the table. Then the table raised and then lowered my head.
 
He said, before I examine you, do you have any questions? I said, Yes! WHY did you choose THIS specialty?
 
His reply, “somebody has to do it.”
 
Anyhow, he examined me, then said, well, Ms. Duecker, most people only have one fissure, You, however have two.
 
For those that don’t know what a fissure is, it is a tear or cut in the anus. Soooooo, he gave me some ointment with lidocaine in it and some ointment that has nitroglycerin in it to try to slow down the spasms down.
So there you have it!
 
My Jack Ass, Cowboy,  got onto my “good” neighbors property this a.m. I was getting ready to leave to go to “Procto Man” when they called. So, they tied him up to a tree and when I got home this afternoon, I drove down in the golf cart, opened the gate, lead him through and tied him to the cart. I said, o.k. buddy, hold on! Opened the cart up and off we went.
 
I am hoping that is all the excitement for today, but ya never know. Until next time, don’t forget, It’s All About Livin’

Stayed in S.A. last night. Went to Jacala’s to eat after we picked Toby up at the airport. Laughed our ASSES off! Cindy, Greg, Toby, Tisha, Russel (her good lookin’ boyfriend), Daddy, Vicki, and me were there! Ended up stayin’ in S.A. last night. Got home and thought, I will put a round bale of hay out before the expected big rain! Phhhhh! I don’t know if we are expecting a big rain, my mind is thinking that. So anyway, I took it out and proceeded to get STUCK in the field! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

I called Prater, my neighbor, and he said he would be over after people left. They were selling sheep, I think. So I went inside to ‘wait!” He definately works on “Cowboy” time and I started thinkin’, 5:00 this p.m. will not work. So I started thinkin’ how I could get it out. It’s amazing what “thinking” will do for ya! I did, it is, and I am so much happier! I HATE having to ask for help!
 
Went to Cindy and Greg’s last night. Celebrating Greg’s 60th birthday, eventhough it isn’t til 09.07, but it was great, and the rain stayed away! Didn’t leave til after 1;00 a.m., so I was in no hurry to get up this a.m. that’s for sure.
 
Cindy is doing her obedience today at 3;00 p.m.
 
Cindy and Chica were AWESOME! She had her walking on a lead and coming to her consistently in 30 minutes, if even that! She was GREAT!
 
I am just watching the finale of the Olympics! Amazing! If we could all just get along like the Olympians show us every four years!

Tennessee cuz, Sista Smiff said she hadn’t heard from me and was wondering how I was feeling. First of all, Thanks for checkin’. I thought I put an entry in for Monday, guess I didn’t. Chemo brain must be a “real” thing.
 
Had my blood work drawn. Suzi, the nurse, came out with a smile on her face and said, “We got ya this time.” My count went form, I thought 14 something, actually it was 15.1 to 3.2. So that is what she told me. Now, is that a healthy minded nurse that comes in with a smile on her face saying, “We got ya?” HMMMM, guess she knows my “sick sense of humor.” She said, they would probably give me Nulasta the day “after” my next chemo, scheduled for the 2nd of September.
 
Vicki called the next day and asked me why they wouldn’t have gone ahead and given the shot yesterday. I couldn’t answer her, so I called “Sick Suzi” and here was her answer.
She said, I would continue to rebuild my WBC’s ’til next time and when the check the morning of chemo, I may not even need it then. She said, 3.2 isn’t really all that low.
Normal is 4.6-10.8. (The hole number is thousands.) So, in case anyone else was wondering, there it is.
 
Back to Monday night. I woke up in the middle of the night (3:00 a.m.), thinking I need some WBC, (White Blood Cells). Soooo, I got up, came to my trusy computer and looked up pics of WBC slides. I found one. I should be getting my cap and shirt with these pretty purple dyed WBC’s on them.
 
WHEW! I am just glad I found them.
 
Neat thing, I found a lady in New Braunfels that does silk screening. She is making some Tshirts, pink ones, with the WBC’s on them. That way the nurses at the doctors office can give these out to those that might be missin’ some WBC’s! Ain’t it amazin’ how easy it is to find something when you need it?
 
Going to Stunts Magee’s (Cindy) today. She is still pretty sore from her rib incident. Tomorrow is Greg’s 60th birthday party, so Vicki and I are going to go over and help her cut and paste so to speak different stuff that may make like a little easier for her. Actually, if truth be known, it’s just a reason to get together again!
 
Toby comes in this p.m. Sure will be good to see that little “Shit Ass!” (That really is a term of endearment for me)
 
Looking forward to a GREAT weekend! Hope ya’lls is the same!

08.16.08
 
Saturday
Cut the road this a.m., Anticipating the rain! Just an FYI; I don’t cut the road, just on the sides of it. I had that rider flying, trying to get it done before it got hot! It’ll be interesting to see how, where my boobs used to be, will feel. That area of my chest let me know I was hitting bumps.
 
 Was driving to mass this p.m. at 5:00 and down the rain came! YOO HOO! It sure feels good!
 
Met Patricia at Mass this evening, since my “lockup” period officially begins tomorrow, Sunday. Then went to Sea Island to eat. UMMMMM, I had charbroiled Salmon! Boy that was good!  When I went to pick up my meal, I saw a piece of Key Lime Pie on the tray next to mine. I looked at the manager and said, jokingly, (REALLY), “Would anyone tell if I took that piece of pie?”  He said, “Absolutely Not!” I laughed and as I went to walk off, he said, “here” and put it on my tray! OMG! YUMMMMMMM that was Good! I went back to the table and I showed it to Patricia. She said, “You’re really using that bald head for all it’s worth, aren’t ya?”
 
I really was kiddin’!
 
08.17.08
Sunday
 
Love…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)
 
I guess Sunday has become a special day of reflection for me, or maybe just some good ‘ol self talkin’.  Looking back on this “blog”, I have found more pontificating on my part on Sunday.
Anyway, I just got online, 7:45 and came upon the Daily Devotional. I am seeing this scripture as a “real” part of me, right now. A definate positive!  Briefly: My Love of Life, makes it much more doable to handle everything else. And boy, where would we be without hope?
 
I also woke up thinking of Mary Jane and Felix’ daughter, Christine, that died of colon/rectal cancer. I cannot begin to imagine what she must have endured.
 
The most uncomfortable part of my journey, I would have to say, is the constipation. A very real part of the chemo AND it appears the anticipation of the chemo. Also, with the blood thinner, it could be kinda scary when I strain. The Saturday and Sunday before I am scheduled for chemo, it also hits. Those two days before my first round and the two days prior to the second round it was there.  I have to keep in perspective, ‘Everything’ is relative. My discomfort, Thank You Lord, is passing, thus making it MUCH more tolerable. The chronic pain and discomfort Christine endured is unfathomable for me.
 
Thinking of people like Christine, sure keeps my bitchin’ in check!
 
My chest area was a little sore last night and somewhat swollen this a.m. from bouncing around yesterday on that lawn tractor. I am sure a little fluid build up, especially on my right side (the side they took the lymph nodes). It’ll be interesting to see how long this will happen. I go back to Dr. Fischer in September. I’ll see if it continues and to what degree.
 
Went down to feed in 70 degrees. It feels soooo good! Checked the rain gauge. I got 3/4 of an inch yesterday! Sounds like there is more to come!
 
Just woke up from a nap on the recliner, (I love my recliners on each end of the sofa) and the swelling is gone! Boy, that didn’t last long! I was walking aroung this a.m. with my arms hanging away from my body, like I had something keeping my arms from touching my body. They’re touchin’ now!
 
Just talked to Cindy. She is still sore but feeling better. She is excited to start with Chica and Jasmine.
I have to share this one: She asked Jasmine yesterday something about Chica chewing on her fingers. Jasmine asked her why she was allowing her to chew on her fingers? Cindy said she was playing, Jasmine asked why she had her fingers near Chica’s mouth. Cindy figured out real quick, uh, wasn’t the best thing to ask. Definately there is some lost in the translation here. I was dying laughing when she was telling me.
 
O.K., going to eat some baked chicken. I haven’t had “backed chicken” in a looong time. Just sounded good. I have a squash and a couple small red potatoes to go with it. YUMMMMM!

“Stunts Magee” is at it again! I believe Cindy is walkin’ around with a cracked rib or two. She called yesterday p.m. to ask me to look up “cracked rib” on Google. (I google ‘everything’) Anyhow, she was at the beauty shop……yeah, beauty shop and the phone rang. She jumped over to get it and hit her rib on the counter!
 
Went over before noon (Cindy, Vicki, and I did lunch!) Anyhow, we wrapped her middle up and, well, uh, she ISSSSS sore! But, I believe on the mend! 
 
We went to StoneWorks in the Quarry! GREAT Cobb Salad! Even better conversation and yeah, lots of laughing! We then went to Whole Foods to initially get some Tetree Oil for my nail beds. They say the nail at the bed can kinda die off, so they recommended the oil. Vicki started talking about Dr. Oz and his bag of goodies, so we got something he had suggested! Went to find Vicki a purse at one of the places Cindy finds ( UNBELIEVABLE what she can find!), then went back to Cindy’s and everyone went on their way! Had a great time!
 
Aaron is in for just a few days. So, I know Vicki is enjoying her boy fix when she can get it!
 
I am hoping this pic will finally work. This is my “I”M KICKIN’ CANCER’S ASS” pic. I
 feel good! My tongue is starting to feel kinda funny like before, but nothing worth really talking about. I need to go back and see if the sores had hit by this time last treatment!
 
We’ll see what tomorrow brings! Hopefullly some rain! In the meantime, we all have to remember: It’s All About Livin’!

08.11.08
 
I am 50% through with the chemo! Definately a TKO today! Got in and was home by 4:00 p.m. Slept til 7:30 when the dogs woke me up barking.
 
Mary Jane took me to my sisters this a.m. My Plan A’s AC went out in her house yesterday, so she had to be there for the AC people this a.m. So, I called Plan B, Mary Jane, to see if she would take me to Cindy’s (my sister). Thanks to Felix, he had to take his horse trailer off his truck and take his truck to the Dr. so Mary Jane could take me in the Caddy.
 
She picked me at 8:30, ran me over to Cindy’s. Hopefully she got to see Todd and Andrea’s baby.
 
My blood work is (normal?) Gosh, didn’t realize I had anything normal! It was AWESOME to hear!  Got in an out in a timely manner! Thanks for the prayers. Andy Bobby thanks for the emal. It meant a great deal!

08.14.08
 
Happy Birthday, Josh!
 
BOY! Yesterday p.m. I got draggy! I am chalking it up to no sleep Sunday nite. (Heck, I’ll chalk it up to anything other than the chemo!) Picked up Patricia from the airport, went to the Barn Door to eat, then went back to her house. I was ready to crash!
And ya know, there is nothing like being in your own bed! I couldn’t WAIT to get back home this a.m.!  I am not in bed, but am close to it if I want it!
 
OH MY GOSH! 10-12,000 calories a day! Can you imagine? That Michael Phelps is pretty amazing! Is that Mama proud of her boy or what? I think I have seen those looks on my sisters’ faces a time or two and “my” nephews aren’t even Olympians!
 
AHHHHHAA, Cindy is going to be taking Chica to doggy class! I HAVE to see that! Sheesh!  I just finished talking to Vicki about it and she said, “I am going to be laughing to myself!” It won’t be “to myself” for me! I am going to be laughing my ‘butt’ off! I have met this gal she will be going to. She is good! No, she is Excellent! Tactful! Not on your life! I can’t wait to see Cindy’s face the first time Jasmine corrects her in a way that she doesn’t like! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!11 Sorry, I just couldn’t control it there!
 
I think I saw one of those little canopy’s at Wal Mart for $29.00. I think I am going to go get one so I can just set up and ‘laugh!’ I can’t wait til it starts!
 
As you are going to be aware, just in case you don’t know it already, my thoughts go from one thing to another.
BUT, I hate this when it happens! My “stupid ass” renter neighbor just called. Her grandson and two friends had ‘play” guns and my animals were dodging “something” this a.m. after I got home. I went and talked to the boys about being responsible and respectable. The idiot just called, granted she just got home from work, and said those boys were doing nothing. She said, “My animals were just running around.”
NOW, did you get that? She just got home from work and said the boys, who were here, weren’t doing anything. Isn’t it amazing how people know from miles away what “kids” are doing out of their site? Wow, she is amazing! All I could say was “Thank You For The Call.” “Bitch!”
Now ya’ll know another reason why I retired last year.
 
I was a slug today. Just camped out on the sofa/recliner!  Guess I needed to save my energy for lunch with Cindy and Vicki tomorrow!

Gorgeous day today! Went out to feed and really didn’t want to come in. But it was beginning to get a little warm.
 
I gave my “no good” renting neighbors “one” last chance with their horse. When I got home from Chemo Monday, he was caught around that same piece of brush. It rained all day yesterday, there he was, still stuck this a.m. So, I called the owners of the property, told them this was MY last time to “help’ and told her the story. She called them, and they moved the poor thing out of my sight, anyway. Hopefully, more in their sight, so they won’t forget him. I feel so sorry for him.  Don’t know if I told you last time, they were basically looking at it as if I was trying to just cause trouble! They have blocked the gate I could get through to untie him. I am not going to take a chance at cutting myself up right now. SOOOOO, from now on, the law gets called!
 
I got my “air purifiers” yesterday for the house. Kind of excited  to see just how good they are. People swear by them. Toby, thanks for the suggestion. He was the one that suggested I get them. I am glad he did.
 
Vicki called this a.m. She and Dennis are watching Trevor and Karina’s two pit bull babies, Kona and Sadie for a few days while Trevor is out of town on business.They are something else. You just see the sweetness and love in Kona’s eyes. She is a sweetie! Sadie, has come a Looooooooong way since I first met her! “Wild As A March Hare!” She is Trevor’s “Dike Dog!” Don’t know who named her that, but it fits! She too is built like a brick – - – - house! Muscles from head to toe! Again, Sandra and Sharon rest assured, she too is a non-drinker and isn’t allowed out, especially without her leash!
Vicki was walking her baby, Callie, when she called. The energy that girl has! And I am NOT talking about Callie! You can bet she doesn’t take a leisurely walk. You can hear the heart rate raring while talking to her. I couldn’t walk like that, much less talk at the same time!
 
Going to pick up Patricia from the airport from her visit with son, daughter-in-law, and grandson up in Frisco for the past 10 days or so.
 
Off to feed and get the show on the road!

Thank You Lord!  Sat out in the golf gart listening to the animules eat and feeling the rain this a.m.! Just supposed to rain today. We’ll take what we can!
 
Slept like a baby last night. Thank Goodness! Woke up to 1.5 pound increase. Thanks prednisone.
 
Felt like making some soup today. The rain brings that out in me. Anyway, I went to get a chuck roast (my favorite meat for soup), carrots, squash, and a big ‘ol 1015 onion. Unfortunately while on the Coumadin (blood thinner), I can’t have broccoli, cabbage, stuff like. Anway, years ago, I went to this Mexican restaurant and had the best Caldo de Rez (beef soup). All the individual tastes were so vivid. I asked the owner how he made his soup and he cooks the meat separately, the vegetables separately, then puts them all together. I have been doing that ever since. It is GOOD!
 
I’m gonna see where this goes. I have had a sinking spell. I am thinking it is from the lack of sleep night before last. Who knows, it may be the beginning of the fatigue…….Nah, it has to be from the lack of sleep.
 
Just a little power nap was all I needed. Lasted about an hour, than time to go feed..
 
If you want a little inspirational story, Google Dana Bowman. Interesting story. He was one of the speakers that “dropped in” as an after dinner speaker, I am assuming, that Dennis heard while working in Germany. His mantra: “It’s not the Disability, It’s the Ability!”  If you want to feel sorry for yourself, check him out! He’ll change your mind! Sounds like a pretty awesome guy!
 
A good day today. Looking forward to another one tomorrow.

 
Round 2 is Monday, tomorrow.  I am looking for another TKO (Techinical Knock Out)
 
Siince I am “Beating Cancer’s Ass” I am expecting another TKO! Yes, the picture is coming. Cindy got a new camera, took it yesterday, so once all gets downloaded, I’ll pass it along.
 
I must be getting ready to lose the hair on my head. When I rub my head it feels like stickers. They said it would have a pulling and tender sensation. Since I have shaved the head, I am guessing the sticker feeling is both of the above. We’ll see.
 
Well, I am probably going to be up “all” night! I took my prednisone at 7:00 p.m. tonite. Sheeeesh! For those of you young uns that have NEVER had a hot flash and are really wondering what to look forward to, tell your Dr. to give you some Prednisone. It’ll do it for ya.
 
Mary Jane is taking me to Cindy’s tomorrow a.m. For those that don’t know, I go to church with her and her husband! Awesome folks! Oh yeah!  She is the one I sat with at the Batman movie.
 
I’ll update tomorrow p.m. after I get home.
As always: It’s All About Livin’